How-to process why you didn’t get that life-changing promotion

Inner-strength training tip # 12: Everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason


  • Everything comes in time
  • Don’t be drained over the situation
  • The interviewer could have been pressured to make a decision
  • The interviewer might not have as much “say” in chosing a candidate as you think, could be other parties involved with greater authority
  • The job might not be meant for you
  • This could be a test of strength to see if you will pursue what you’re meant to do in the world
  • Will you crumble in this tough situation? Or rise to the challenge?

The situation:

You’re ready to move up in your company! Searching through the job openings on the intranet, you’re heart races at the possibilities and new doors that could open.

You picture yourself in each position. Happy and finally becomming the person you always saw yourself as. When your eyes land on that perfect position. It fits you in every way.

A week passes… you’ve been contacted for a first interview. Studying on your part commences. You brush up on all terminology.

Read all the books you have on how-to rock an interview. You write out the possible interview and follow-up questions just like a good little girl. Right??

You also splurge on a feel-good interview outfit and earrings.

The day of the interview arrives. You go in there, confident, and give the performance of your life. You really try your best.

And while you may have had some stumbling moments. Overall, you give yourself some credit.

How could they not choose you?

The moment arrives, whether an email, face-to-face, or over the phone.


You didn’t get the job.

Why not just punch you in the face, huh? Because it’s the same feeling right now.

Crushed. You’re feeling so many emotions right now. And one of them might be shock.

Chin up, girlfriend.


defeat, feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom (like really low), momentary emotional instability, grasping for emotional balance, shock, unable to hold back tears, (sneaking away in the bathroom to cry), puffy eyes (from crying), bitterness, stuck, perception shattered, anger, frustration, dashed dreams, unable to see silver lining, pain, nausea, a little insecure, opposite of confident, Is this really happening right now?

How-to deal

If this is your first time…….

Well, I can tell you the first cut is certainly the deepest. You won’t experience the same level of shock and pain as this first defeat.

You will learn so much from not being chosen for this promotion.

Right now, you’re probably teary-eyed reading this.

How can you even make it through the rest of the day?

It will give you some comfort to know that everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason.

The universe knows what it’s doing.

And the experience of being passed up is more valuable to your development than getting the job.

It’s ok to take a moment and fall apart.

To cry and let it all out.

The anger.

The hurt.

I felt shock when this happened to me, too.

When I got passed up for an Implementation Manager job by my own mentor, I think I was in shock.

I prepared, I fantasized about what it would be like to make $80,000/year.

I was so convinced that this was my time. I’d no longer be a Contract Specialist making $45,000/year.

Embarrassingly, I even toured condos with real estate agents and told them I was about to get promoted and was interested in buying a house!

The morning of the promotion announcement… I hadn’t heard anything yet.  My manager asked the team of 6 I worked on to gather around the cubicles.

When everyone had gathered she spoke….”I’d like to take this time to congratulate Kevin* on his promotion to Implementation Manager. He makes the transition in two weeks…..

…..Everyone give him a round of applause!”

I was stunned.

I hadn’t even heard from my mentor that the decisions were in.

I put on an actor’s smile and applause. I congratulated Kevin. But hid my own humiliation.

After speaking with one of my personal advisors, they said something that took the sting away….

They said, “Kevin was just better in the interview (ugh, not that part)…

“She also said, “6 months from now, you’ll look back on this time and know it wasn’t meant to be.”

And you know what? 6 months later, I did. I was grateful that I wasn’t stuck in that job. And so will you.

If this is your second time……

You’ve been through this. While the shock is still there, you’ve built up some inner-strength….which reflects the pain. Kudos to your strength!

This is just another experience that will make you stronger.

Remember the rule: everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason.

Why didn’t you get the job, though?

You’re probably better off without it.

The job might not have been suitable for you.

You might be destined to travel down a different path that ultimately connects to your higher purpose in life.

Don’t be too focused on the job that you didn’t get.

Whether it was because of another candidate who went above and beyond for his interview, in a way that he couldn’t be ignored.

Or, maybe a few weeks down the line, the candidate they choose won’t even stick with the job.

It doesn’t take anything away from your performance.

Trust what the universe has in store for you. Trust that this has happened for a reason.

You’re better off without that job.

Because if it was meant for you. You’d have it.

So chin up. There are so many things. Higher quality things in store for you.

Don’t settle for average… Or, that job.

6 months from now… remind yourself to look back…And be grateful that you didn’t get that job.

What is one time you didn’t get a big promotion? I want to hear the whole story.