Inner-strength training tip # 14: Everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason
You’re ready to move up in your company! Searching through the job openings on the intranet, you’re heart races at the possibilities and new doors that could open for you!
You are finally becoming the person you always saw yourself to be.
Your eyes land on that perfect position and it fits you in every way.
You apply and one week passes by before you are contacted for a first interview.
Once the meeting is set-up you dive head first into the terminology and rehearsing your interview until the big day.
You also splurge on a few essentials that will make you stand out and feel good for the big day. Like an interview outfit and new dangly earrings.
The day of the interview arrives. Confidently, you enter the conference room and give the performance of your life.
And while you may have had some stumbling moments. Overall, you give yourself some credit.
How could they not choose you?
Decision day is here, you wonder if you’ll be notified face-to-face or over the phone.
One way or another here comes the answer. And…..
You didn’t get the job.
Why not just punch you in the face, huh?
Because it’s the same feeling right now.
Crushed. You’re feeling so many emotions right now. And one of them might be shock.
Chin up, girlfriend.
- Feeling like you’ve hit rock bottom (like really low)
- Momentary emotional instability
- Grasping for emotional balance
- Feeling lost
- Unable to hold back tears (sneaking away in the bathroom to cry)
- Puffy eyes (from crying)
- Feeling stuck
- Perception shattered
- Anger at yourself and others
- Dashed dreams
- Unable to see the silver lining
- Physical and emotional pain
- A little insecure
- Opposite of confident
- Is this really happening right now?
How-to deal – If this is your first time
Well, I can tell you the first cut is certainly the deepest. And you won’t experience the same level of shock and pain as this first defeat.
On the bright side, you will gain so much from this loss.
Right now, you’re probably teary-eyed reading this.
How can you even make it through the rest of the day?
Let it all out and take a long lunch if necessary.
It will give you some comfort to know that everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason.
The universe knows what it’s doing.
And the experience of being passed up is more valuable to your development than getting the job.
But for now, it’s ok to take a moment and fall apart.
To cry and let it all out.
I was shocked when this happened to me, too.
When I got passed up for an Implementation Manager job by my own mentor, I saw all my dreams vanish in an instant.
I prepared, I fantasized about what it would be like to make $80,000/year.
I was so convinced that this was my time. I’d no longer be a Contract Specialist making $45,000/year.
Embarrassingly, I even toured condos with real estate agents and told them I was about to get promoted and was interested in buying a house!
The morning of the promotion announcement, I hadn’t heard any news yet on the decision. When all of a sudden, my manager asked the team of 8 I worked on to gather around the cubicles.
When everyone had gathered she spoke….”I’d like to take this time to congratulate Kevin* on his promotion to Implementation Manager. He makes the transition in two weeks….everyone give him a round of applause!”
I was dumbfounded.
I hadn’t even heard from my mentor that the decisions were in.
I put on an actor’s smile and applause. I congratulated Kevin. But hid my own humiliation.
After speaking with one of my personal advisors, she said something that took the sting away.
She said, “Kevin was just better in the interview (ugh, not that part)…
She also said, “6 months from now, you’ll look back on this time and know it wasn’t meant to be.”
And you know what? 6 months later, I did. I was grateful that I wasn’t stuck in that job. And so will you.
How-to deal – If this is your second time around the block
You’ve been through this before. While the shock is still there, you’ve built up some inner-strength which deflects the pain like a shield of armor.
Kudos to your strength!
This is just another experience that will make you stronger.
Remember the rule: everything that doesn’t come into play is for a reason.
You’re probably better off without it the job. Perhaps the job might not have been suitable for you.
You might be destined to travel down a different path that ultimately connects to your higher purpose in life.
Don’t be too focused on the job that you didn’t get.
Whether it was because of another candidate who went above and beyond for his interview, in a way that he couldn’t be ignored.
Or, maybe a few weeks down the line, the candidate they choose won’t even stick with the job.
It doesn’t take anything away from your performance.
What is one time you didn’t get a big promotion? I want to hear the whole story.