Inner-strength training tip #24: It’s not done until you finish it. Be brave one more time.
You’re at work like a lot of other people in this world. You might love your job or you might dread going into the office each day.
You think it may be the work that is incredibly boring, perhaps you are more artistic. Or you need more freedom. But, maybe there’s another reason you don’t want to go in every day.
And that is because of the people.
Let’s be honest, sometimes it can feel like a constant battle with other people. Now a situation that you thought you handled has reemerged. Whether it is favoritism or consistent disrespect, it has reared it’s ugly head once more.
This sound familiar? You walk into the office and Jeff is asking Tom questions about a project you are in charge of. You told him to come directly to you with any concerns.
Or, you told Maria you were available to help out with a particular job, yet she still always ask the same two people.
Because of the mistreatment and abuse of power that you previously encountered, you are actually a little paranoid that the same disrespect will come your way again.
You don’t want to feel that blow to your ego.
So, if it happens again why do we let it slide?
There are people out there that group together to take a strong person down. When you have some goods people don’t naturally embrace it.
And that is a sad fact.
Most people just stay quiet about these disrespectful office interactions because they see managing it as part of the job.
In reality, we should be speaking up to the individuals who don’t show us the respect we deserve.
What is the worst that could happen? You have a tense moment with another person for a second?
You have nothing to fear as long as you speak up when the time is right and maintain a professional tone.
Get what you need. Because no one is going to hand it to you, especially at work.
- You’ve addressed favoritism or lack of respect privately before and all was fine until the same old signs occur again
- You start speaking assertively to get what you need, however, this causes others to not do what you want as much. They liked you better when you were nice and quiet.
- Your requests are not taken as seriously anymore by managers.
- There is a lack of follow-through on your requests by co-workers or managers
- There is a new favorite in town and your co-workers are completely smitten, but you’d rather the playing field be level
- Managers who are smitten by a new co-worker make it so they get most of the higher level tasks while you watch on
- You helped move up an employee by recognizing their great traits, however now they want to dominate you at work in return
- Authority figures ask to give away your hours or switch their focus to team members who they enjoy socializing with
- Feeling excluded or like you “don’t fit in” on the team
- Changes to your daily routine leave you underconfident at work
Does intermixing in and out of office lead to better opportunities?
Before we get to the how-to deal section, let’s address this question.
In my experience, yes. Although I rarely ever do it. It’s always the same thing: the team members who “play the game” and become immediately comfortable and let it all hang out in their work environment are the ones in favor with authority figures.
I guess long-term employees like Vice Presidents and Managers like to see an employee put down roots. It might make them feel that this employee is invested in the future of the company.
But, the thing is when personal relationships cross into favoritism that is when it bothers me. In my opinion, you shouldn’t base all of your promotions and opportunities on who you like the most.
It should be who has the best skill set for the opportunity.
It can be awkward to readdress a situation that you thought you resolved. For one, you may be nervous. Yes, you acted strongly by speaking up against bad behavior one time. But, can you do it again?
And even worse, what if it doesn’t work this time?
Well, I’m here to tell you that if you did it one time you can do it again!
Look at me, I’m in a situation right now where I have to readdress favoritism once more.
The bonds of favoritism were broken for a little because I spoke up and squashed it. But, now they are back. And If I don’t say something sternly and professionally than I’m letting myself down.
Don’t let yourself be pushed aside for the next thing! You matter.
The first thing you should do is observe the situation. Look at all the players and determine if the same signs are there that made you step-up to the plate the first time.
During this time, make sure your guard is up a little.
If you are having a hard time with a co-worker or authority figure put a buffer of space between you two. That space can help you draw strength when it’s time to stand up for yourself.
Also, a little bit of distance helps you maintain respect. And others won’t get too comfortable around you.
Remember, you want to be sure the same signs are present this time around. You don’t want to jump down someone’s throat too early because then you look aggressive.
When you’ve assessed the situation then it’s time to push yourself forward and break the spell. Snap everyone back to a level playing field and reap the rewards. You can do it!
Speak up when you aren’t angry and with the absence of emotion in your voice. Again, people usually get nervous when you call them out. Because no one wants to get in trouble because they fear bigger consequences.
If for some reason your manager or authority figure doesn’t respond the way you thought they would, then you will need to step back and think for a moment.
You aren’t defeated, but to beat this you may need to break the problem down into smaller bits to tackle.
Finally, remember that no one respects energy that is too nice and subservient. Sorry. If you are sweet you need to toughen up a bit!
Connect with your innate strength, you have it within you and these situations help you crack the surface so you that can tap into it more.
How many times have you had to address a repeat situation at work?
Do you stand up for yourself or sweep it under the rug?