Inner-strength training tip #27: Share in your co-workers moment to shine. Instead of resisting it, love it. Embrace it. Have fun with it. It’s a celebration!
Watch this clip before we proceed with the article!
In your day-to-day job, you work with someone that has clear skills that can help them rise to the top of the food chain.
You normally work well with everyone, but be honest this person can put you a bit on edge. They may be very strong, very different than you personality wise. Also, the co-worker doesn’t always need to be a woman, sometimes it can be a man.
Regardless of the fact that they are a rising star can be an elephant in the room.
You try to get to know them on an individual level, but their razor-sharp skills keep intruding in that for us.
We feel uncomfortable each time they make a comment or suggest a process improvement or a change to the way we are used to. This person is on the fast track to success. Like following a straight vertical line, they keep hitting the right notes of what key figures in your office want to hear.
Oh. no. You feel it coming. Their moment. It’s almost here.
We’re scared. What will that mean for us? What does it mean for you? Will you be so overshadowed by the new bright spotlight on them that you will be forever forgotten.
Can you relate to the feeling I’m talking about?
- Fear of the unknown, “what will this person’s presence mean for us at work?”
- Tense feeling in the stomach
- The mind is saying one thing but your body feels tense
- Unable to make eye contact with this person due to your feelings
- Urge to maintain authority over this person
- This person may push us to care more at work and serve as a form of competition (not a bad thing, really)
- Need to shut this person’s advancement down in its tracks, you’ve been at the job longer
- Need to roll eyes at this person or belittle them
- Wanting to help them even though they don’t need help
This kind of situation is tricky because there is a balance needed in the way that you conduct yourself and the way that you relate to them. Also, I think the length of time plays a role at the company.
How you hold yourself in this situation is similar to the saying “If your ego is too little you give away the farm, if your ego is too big you eventually lose the farm.”
At work, you need to have the poise and confidence to acknowledge the skills of another woman, in this case. Even if it means that you recognize she has valuable skills, enough to surpass you if she wanted to and if you let her.
The other part of the balance equation is getting what you need and being that little bit selfish. You need to have some authority over yourself, be present in your mind, have the courage to be direct and efficient and firm.
The struggle is that if you are too liberal with boosting them up the ladder then you lose out for yourself.
When you push yourself to the next level you will have what you need be it money, satisfaction, promotion. However, if you forget about helping others then it won’t be worth it in my opinion.
So, a balance between the intention of letting this person show off their skills and giving them enough freedom to rise at work, while still going out there and getting what you want.
What you don’t want to do is notice their skills and begin to leave them out of the circle at work, just like in the clip.
Additionally, when you notice someone particularly a woman, going above and beyond their best, call it out.
At work one day, I noticed a smart, new girl going above and beyond. She did a lot of additional work that wasn’t required of her. No one seemed to notice, but I did!
I thought about all the times I did extra work, I thought maybe she could figure this one out on her own eventually, I thought about saying nothing.
But, I couldn’t do that to her. I had to draw attention to it and so I did. I mentioned to the manager and a group of people all the stuff she did because she didn’t. This kind of pushed her up a bit and a lot of others started complimenting her.
When someone has a moment at work where the President, the Vice President or your manager seem to be rallying around them, it’s likely you could feel left out. You may say to yourself “What about me?”
You can turn those feelings around and share in their moment instead.
Only a really secure woman, fastened in who they are and what they are capable of can celebrate another woman with who they deem to be similar to them.
How do you get to be so secure?
Well, time and struggle. By being challenged, by fighting for what you want, by surviving all the times you were crushed, put down, frustrated, angry, pained and making it out alive, you connect with your strength.
And when you see others getting the spotlight, you already feel rooted in yourself enough where you let yourself enjoy the celebration. It takes practice and trial and error to realize the world won’t end if someone else is just as motivated as you are at work.
If you’re not there yet, don’t sweat it. As long as the intention to celebrate and recognize is there know that it will get better in time.
Test your limitations for yourself! See how far you’re able to celebrate someone without feeling challenged or envious of their traits. Be sure to practice the balancing act by being direct and having the courage to act independently at work, too.
In the end, when you let people be appreciated for their own strengths you also rise with them.
Tell me about a time that you shared in a co-worker’s moment at work.