Inner-strength training tip #32: Even the strongest most frighteningly intimating people at our jobs are still human. Don’t think that they are superhuman and that you don’t stand a chance next to them! It’s likely the other way around.
While at work you pumping iron and by iron, I mean the daily conflicts that pop up at work. You are training for strength here. When you start to feel weak you snap out of it, put on your figurative armor and push on.
You focus on your own work, which is good.
But as we know a job is much more than the work, it’s two-sided.
Yes, there’s the paperwork and job requirements that need to be filled (and lots of it!)
But then there is the political side.
Who is liked more? Who is the leader? Who has more influence? Who is weaker? Who has the respect of others?
And that’s where you are right now.
The story unfolds..
You have your eye on one person. They seem to have a friendly conversation with you but I don’t know there’s just something about them.
You can’t quite figure them out. The way they present themselves.. is it nice and strong? Or is it a cleverly disguised ploy.
Yes, the words coming out of their mouths are “nice” and might even be all of the right things. But their actual being and their energy feel different. It feels a little controlling or negative.
What are they about?
They seem very strong. In fact they always seem to have the upper hand on things. But the feeling you get when they are around is intimidating and kind of mean. Is this just you again?
Are they someone that you want to have in your corner? Should you waste your time trying to get to know them. Because if you did and made a misstep they could end up using you or taking advantage of you.
Signs they are a real &%^8$!
- They need to be in control of the situation at all times (This may be that they don’t feel comfortable in any other role, which isn’t really a strike against them)
- You definitely feel that you need to have your guard up and cannot be your true self
- Their energy is heavy and pierces you like a knife. Ouch!
- When you do let your guard down they seem to twist what you say to the opposite of what you meant
- They make you feel embarrassed about yourself – This is a MAJOR RED FLAG – if someone does this they may try to have the upper hand on you always
Signs they are strong in character and professionalism:
If your mysterious co-worker exhibits these behaviors then you possibly have a new person in your work corner who can support you if you are in a pinch.
- They make suggestions that help you improve
- They try to let you take the lead on projects
- You feel supportive when they are around
- You feel safe when you work with them
- You feel that they care and that they really listen to you
If yes, then you know they aren’t a true friendly co-worker that you can count on. And it’s more likely they are leading toward a &6%&$ then a professional.
While you can’t judge people too harshly right away. You can look for the red flags that exist. Really look! And they will guide you and tell you what’s going on behind this person’s mask.
Remember that even though this person seems to have all the answers. It’s likely that behind the scenes they could just be making it up, not really as confident as they seem, just good at lying, or have a lot of stuff going on in their personal life.
You may have the knowledge and grit to get promoted but you are too busy worrying about what others are doing or selling yourself too short.
What to do now:
If you get tense when this mysterious co-worker comes close and want to avoid your pride getting damaged in front of everyone, then use these signs to gauge where they fall on the spectrum.
If you are at work right now and someone is intimidating you by their intelligence or strong direction as a way to control you. They could be hiding something, perhaps a deep fear of not being good enough, a need for attention, or a lot of insecurity. They are pulling off this facade to divert your attention away from the fact that yes, they are insecure.
And here you are right now, discounting yourself.
Don’t be so quick to take yourself out of the game and fall for someone’s deception.
As the saying goes, the smarter you are the more you will doubt yourself. And fools will always be full of confidence. Why oh why!?
Plus now that you know that the macho or highly controlling type A personality is just a front, they aren’t so scary.
The only thing that’s holding you back from leveling the playing field at work is that you are scared to make a move. To assert yourself. You’ve got the goods.
As humans, we are all fearful on some level.
So when you feel snubbed why not speak up and know in your mind and heart that they are scared too! Speak what is on your mind respectfully. If they say something back then you say what’s on your mind again respectfully.
Feel the rush and alignment of doing what’s right and what you’ve been scared to do for so many years.
Stay focused at this job and know your sights are set on higher pay and promotion! Climbing up higher each day you are uniting with the strength that’s always been hidden inside. Believe in yourself and keep climbing, keep stretching that muscle every single day.
Taupe Shoes will be hear backing you up along the way.
Do you find it difficult to get promoted at your current job? Why?