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Inner-strength training tip #25: You need to go out and get the respect and acknowledgment that you’ve got your eye on. You need to make it happen.
You are at work, but lately, something has been lacking. You aren’t sure if it’s your age or a shift in your mentality or the influx of new faces in your office, but for some reason, you don’t feel you are seen the way you want to be.
Shouldn’t it feel different after all these years in the workforce? Do you want to get more of the important assignments? Or at least some compliments on your work!
Maybe you don’t shine as brightly as you could because others around you lacked the confidence to let you do so. Even still, you check all the boxes of a good employee, but it doesn’t seem like your work makes a lasting impression on your managers.
Before you jump ship know that there are probably factors present that you might not realize.
Perhaps you are noticed in your own way but no one ever tells you how appreciative they are of you.
Or others trust that you will complete a task and that you aren’t needy, so it can be flattering that they don’t check up on you to get a job done.
Even still, If you feel that you are ready to lead instead of just watching from the sidelines it’s time to make the trek to the next level on your own.
Signs and Symptoms:
- Unfulfilled or needs not met
- Anger, stewing
- Replaying a scene from work in your head repeatedly trying to dissect it
- Lack of confidence in your skills
- Emotional spillover to other areas of your life
To be the team leader you need to:
- Let others hear you make decisions independently
- Establish a foundation of strength and dominance by not letting others push you around (balance is key with this one)
- Point out great traits in others and let them shine freely
- Prove yourself multiple times to be assertive but professional and inclusive of everyone, a true leader
- Do your best but don’t go above and beyond at your job
- Don’t be afraid to take action toward what you want and don’t take it personally if someone gets upset over it
- Don’t waste your time on unimportant tasks
You must repeat these tasks at your job until you get noticed, this is an important step to success!
If you are more reserved this might be hard for you, but it is a way that you can connect with your own strength.
Small steps count toward this goal, and you will feel a confidence boost when you take action toward getting what you need at work.
If there’s one thing I learned it’s that people aren’t going to come right out and hand you the prize or take you to the next level. Only you can do that for yourself.
Additionally, while being competent is obviously a great trait to have, it can work against you.
People rely on you so much that they stretch the capacity at what you can take on, simply because you can handle it.
That is why go-getters must protect themselves at work. Do a good job, but don’t go above and beyond your best effort.
For example, taking on so much work so that you can feel important without delegating or working straight through a break. These are red flags.
Also, don’t let people cross boundaries or let them tell you who they think you are. “You are soft-spoken.”
If it keeps you in a subservient place, then don’t listen to it.
Even one year ago, if someone pushed back at me, I would give in. Not anymore. Once you start to practice getting what you need in a respectful way that lets everyone shine including yourself, you develop a thicker skin.
I’ve gotten a lot of practice with setting boundaries, too. People have an unusual habit of interrupting me when I’m with a customer or client. It may be because I’m nice so that automatically “Hey! Interrupt me and hijack the conversation.”
So, I’ve had to work on managing people and building up boundaries with respect to that. And I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Before I wouldn’t address the issue until the second or third time they’ve done it.
Now, the first time I watch someone cut me off I swiftly bring attention to it by saying, “I’ve got it.” That usually resolves the issue and I’ve noticed people say, “Oh sorry I interrupted you”. Yeah, no kidding!
If you’re interested, Amazon has some good books professionally handling confrontation.