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Taupe Shoe’s Guide on How-To Wait for the One

who is my soulmate, have i found my soulmate, why am i so unhappy in my relationships

The Façade

You want the soul-mate, the house, the car, the money, the career. Once your partner is found you will start your “real life.”

If currently single, have you looked at each new man as “the one”?

Women in their late 20s pressured to pair up. Take caution, the decision is important.

Cinderella and tales lead us to wait for Prince Charming.

But, we are not the damsel in distress. Ask yourself. Are you with your significant other because of what they could do for you? Or, did you settle for second best?

The denial of your true feelings. This is the façade.

“The One” vs. “The Closest One”

You encounter a man that you find handsome and charming. He makes you weak in the knees. You daydream about him all day.

Slow down. I’m writing this for myself to. We think we know a person by a few encounters. But the nuances of personality are complex. And require years to intimately know someone.

Prick the fantasy bubble. Let the air out. A connection is a connection. And even if it feels amazing. It might not go the distance.

In fact, in the book Willful Blindness the author says that enamored feelings lead to illusion.

You see what you’d like to. Not what is actually there.

“We go through life looking for people who make us feel comfortable.

We’re looking for confirmation.” And “the more something is like us the more we’re inclined to like it. Overlook the flaws. Discount the disappointments.”

Why Am I Not Happy in My Relationship?

We observe others who seem to be in a relationship of convenience. Or fear of being single.

They might be with someone for the wrong reasons. Such as security or emotional fulfillment.

Do you wonder why you need validation? You aren’t alone. We all want to be good enough. And it’s hard to trek this journey alone.

Our partner gives us strength. We know we are loved. With that, everything is within reach. Our careers, promotions, etc.

Imagine if you enter into a relationship of convenience.

It might be better to get to know yourself first. In fact, relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Especially with the wrong person.

Eventually, you will say, “my relationship is making me depressed.”

In this Psychology Today article the author explains that new lovers ignore their partner’s bad habits.

“Something that seems almost irrelevant during lust and romance can become a major irritation as time goes by.”.

“Many new daters believe that their partner’s negative characteristics will outweigh the positive.

Life is full of dramatic changes. Some of these are absolute surprises. Like a long-awaited promotion. Or a trip to Spain!

When you give yourself time to meet yourself. You become whole. You bloom like a beautiful independent rose.

And if you rush into the wrong relationship for the sake of a warm body. Or with the hope of marriage. Remember this.

Life will never be without its problems. So it’s best to face yourself head on.

“Even the happiest of marriages cannot maintain their initial satisfaction level and only with a great deal of energy and commitment can you approach that initial level.” – The Myth of Happiness

Bottom line

Never settle for less than you deserve.

When you are really worth your weight in gold. You can have all the happiness you want in life. You are worthy enough to marry a real prince. Just like Meghan Markle!

Ensure this is the image you see of yourself.

Our 20s is a time of radical growth. Layers drop from us each year.

We think we have life figured out. Then, our path splits off to the side. And now we’re on a new adventure. It’s not selfish to choose yourself. And even if you consider it “not cool” or “lonely” You will develop your talents in a way that you might miss being coupled up.

Now on to the fun stuff.

The Soul Mate

On your journey, you will meet different types of men and women. Some will hold a special meaning to you. And you may have an cosmic connection.

These encounters can range from long lost buds to soul connections.

The deeper the connection the less you words are required to communicate.

Talking is not as quick as a telepathic connection.

And to answer your question. “Can you have more than one soulmate?” Yes, I believe you can.

What does it feel like to meet a……


What a beautiful experience! You’re in for a real treat.

Signs that you’ve met a soulmate:

  • Even if you never believed before, you google “how do I know if I meant someone in a past life?
  • You’re pulled to them as if you were two magnets
  • You notice an invisible chord where you are on one end and your interest is on the other
  • This chord starts at your solar plexus.
  • Your heart is open. There is no other way to say it. You know it is open just because you know it.
  • You feel understood
  • You want to tell this person your life story, the hard times, your childhood, you want to laugh together
  • If you fall in love with them, you might start to lose weight. Falling in love has a drug-like effect.
  • All of this can be accomplished without utterly two words about your romantic feelings.
  • Everything is felt through the connection.

No matter how sensational you feel for this person.

You may not end up together. Feelings blind us. And we think that we have the complete package. But it’s not so. The universe might have someone 10x better that we are about to meet!

Yes, the soulmate is a possible life partner.

But don’t make decisions too quickly. Talk to someone with an objective perception. This can save you from making a life-altering mistake disguised as a dream.

Question: What is a Soulmate Connection?

Answer: An Invisible Link

Whether a soul mate is yours or not. An invisible link is included. Similar to the movie Avatar. What you feel your soul mate feels too. Communication can bring about joy and immense happiness. You may understand how amazing love is. 


You’ll meet a man or woman who you like a lot. This person excites you. You picture all the fun adventures you might partake in. You find them attractive

But step back and ask yourself this. Are you just excited at the fact that someone likes you? Is this guy worth the investment? Your main goal is self-love and self-strength.

Then ask yourself this:

Does this person give you as much time as you give them?

Are you a priority to them?

Do you nurture a one-sided relationship?

Do you send them text messages but settle for them rarely reaching out first?

If yes, move on.

You Deserve the Best

Question: How do I overcome the fear of being single?

Answer: With Self-Love

Being single is “boring” to most. A lot of young women picture themselves living the life. Taking a sip of red wine, wearing a nice dress, having a financial job. have fun. And see people that just focus on themselves as a bit lonely.

But this scenario is just like the nerds in high school who don’t fit in only to become mega-rich later on. You need to work on yourself. To reach the level you want to achieve. Come to terms with your flaws, your strengths, your confidence, your drive.

You deserve the best in life.

Don’t use people to reach the certain level of life that you want. You need to unleash the posh, sophisticated woman that is in your soul. Read some self-help books. Take a cooking class. Become knowledgeable on a subject. Don’t spend so much time in bars. Place yourself in positions where people of influence are. Similar to Meghan Markle. She is an extremely intelligent and polished woman.

Why You Might Feel Lost

 It’s a big secret. But everyone is lost for a period of time in their lives. We disguise this with the word “mental health.”

That word might have negative connotations. But basically, it means “hey, do I have myself figured out?”

“Do I know who I am?”

Because it’s so true. If you don’t know who you are on the inside. Then, the outside is not going to be very much fun

If you feel very unbalanced inside. Or if you feel extremely anxious and possibly paranoid. This is all normal! Welcome to life!

You might try to speak to a guide, life coach.

But don’t jump into a relationship to self-medicate.

Remember the anxiety, nervousness, paranoia, identity-crisis, insecurity. It’s all temporary! Trust me. Take time to uncross your wires. And you will be wiser for it. More admired by others


You will be put in situations whether in your job or life, that test who you are.

Although everyone is different. There comes a point in time where your life training pays off. You finally feel strong. Confident. A true whole woman.

You don’t need anyone else to make you feel whole. When this happens you can then find a suitable partner. And live happily ever after. You deserve the man the universe has for you. You did the work. Congratulations Girl!

What are your thoughts on relationships of convenience?