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Odd girl out: Here’s how to deal with negative energy from a coworker

The problem:

If you’re at work and notice that your former friendship with a co-worker has now gone south, and they’ve now revealed their true colors (which includes never liking you in the first place). Ouch.

You might’ve been fooled by the facade of your fake friendship.

Read: You thought it was real.

That’s ok. You might be an idealist who sees the good in people and their potential.

But, I hate to break it to you. Not all women and men are cut from the same cloth. And while you are for empowerment and uplifting others.

Some people have yet to meet you at the starting line. Don’t worry hopefully they get there eventually. Tearing down others has no place in life anymore. It’s deconstructive. But, you already knew that.

Under their thumb

When someone doesn’t like you, if you’re a good person it may rattle you. Let me ask you: does every interaction with them unnerve you a little bit? Or, does their presence make your stomach tie up in knots?

You think they just don’t like you? There’s a reason, you have to look under the surface. But the emotional undercurrents aren’t so easily identifiable, are they?

Instead, you point the finger at yourself. You feel that YOU aren’t good enough for their approval. If only you could BE BETTER. Answer the telephone better, be funnier, be quicker, etc. Then, the person in question would accept you, right? They’d have to see how good you are then!


Let me share the reason that they don’t accept you.


When someone is secure with themselves they appreciate what other beings have to offer. They celebrate the gifts that others have. They uplift.

But, when all they see is lack, lack, lack within themselves. Then any talent or enviable ability in another is enough cause to start a war.

So stop wondering what it is you lack. And start appreciating the gifts you possess that bring out the worst in others. It means your doing something right.

Now that you know this we can discuss another important question.

Are they older or younger than you?

First off, let’s get this straight. Is the girl in question older or younger than you? I ask this because it’s important to see things from their point of view.

Every one of us is on a different path in life. So that makes it really difficult to “judge” someone. There are so many factors that go into a person’s life experience. Making judgment unnecessary and a waste of energy.

If they’re older…….

If they’re older they’re jealous of you because you threaten them. You could be a fresh talent. A real superstar. You want to make a name for yourself, so you’re a go-getter. That bothers them. They worked hard to get to their position and they like where they’re at.

They don’t want YOU rocking THEIR boat. Capiche? No. Not capiche.

Because if they were smart, they’d embrace your talents and rise with you. When we recognize good qualities in others we bring out the best within ourselves and also rise.

Point blank: your good talents, your looks, your style, your intelligence irks them.

If they’re younger…….

You threaten them. Their newly minted minds want success, money, and security.  And you’re in their way (or so they think). You’re talented, you ask great questions, you got it together, girl! And they want to BE LIKE YOU.

You essentially are a role model in this position. So, it’s best not to put any negative energy their way. In their eyes, they like what they see in you, and they think they can’t have it because you already beat them to it. They look at themselves and see lack, lack, lack.

How to deal:

Don’t let their negative energy choke you out. Keep in mind that:

No one has any power over you except yourself.

Those words are very true. Also, look at this experience as an opportunity to increase your strength. You already know that these people or person is envious of your traits.

This information should help you see others more clearly. You have the upper-hand in this situation. Their insecurity is a weakness which they need to work on.

Don’t become subservient to their rule. Their goal is to extinguish your light. To put out the very thing that made you shine brightly. If you obey their command, they win.

Whatever you do, don’t go silent. Don’t fall apart. Stand up for yourself if need be. Act from a place of strength and they will back down.

The experience happens for a reason. When it’s over you’ll be stronger and wiser for it.

When you experienced negative energy from a co-worker, did you let them push you around, or did you stand up for yourself? Share how you dealt in the comments!