The Dos and Donts of Working with Confident Women

Women are very complex creatures. Powerful, yes. But when it comes down to it we need specific actions to feel good about ourselves at work. Here are some golden rules to coexist peacefully with that other smart girl at work.

1. Always respect her knowledge

There’s nothing worse than when you feel like you excel at your job, and then someone sees that and takes it upon themselves to interrupt your flow.  Basically, they hijack your work, answer questions for you, and impose themselves to try and take the credit. What gives? You were actually doing fine, thank you very much.

When you work with another confident woman take a quiet moment to yourself and dedicate it to her knowledge. She’s been through a different set of experiences than you. And you can learn something from anybody. No one is better than anyone else. Mutual respect and a mature outlook are what leaders are made of.

2. Understand her drive

She’s a confident girl. You’re a confident girl. There’s no need for a stare down! Or, a competition. Sometimes society likes to pit women against each other. That and the fact that we are hardwired to compete for the most suitable mate. But, let’s look past all of the biologically and societal constructs on this one. The confident girl you’re working with wants the exact same things you want. What are those? She wants to feel like she’s important and needed. She wants to accomplish big things. And most importantly, she wants to feel like she is closer to her dreams of success. When you look through her eyes you can relate to her motivation and her hustle. In a way, you can admire it because your drive comes from the same deep place within yourself. Once you understand that you can work together as a team.

3. Set boundaries when necessary

As humans, we try to push boundaries. Naturally, we walk into a situation and think we’re better than everyone else there. We’re smarter. We’re going to run this place someday, right?  And sometimes confident girls push the boundaries. A little too far. They want to see how far they can possibly push you so that they can be number 1 and you can go sit in the corner now. Thankyouverymuch. There’s nothing wrong with speaking up for yourself. In fact, it is encouraged. If someone keeps itching to outshine you to the point that it they are inappropriately crossing into your work, then say something. It could be as simple as, “Thank you for your help, but I don’t need it.” Speaking up for yourself may sound intimidating, but it gets easier in time. Then it becomes like a second skin. You wouldn’t let someone treat you badly for no reason, right?

4. It doesn’t have to be a competition

When you see a pretty girl who is intelligent and attractive don’t reach for your figurative boxing gloves and square off in your corner. Please, just remember aside from our bodies, we are made up of the same energy and source. Celebrate the unique characteristics each smart girl you meet.

5. Think about her story

I may be influenced by the show “This is Us,” but that show is a great way to increase empathy for other people. Which is one of the keys to life.  When you work with another confident girl remember to pause and think about all the experiences in her life that shaped her. There were moments that she was hurt, she was happy, she was mad, and other experiences that had a lifelong impact on her.


6. Try not to gang up on her

The herding technique is where humans tend to form a group and exclude one member of the “herd.” often times that excluded person is intelligent, smart and has something going for them. Also, did you know people bond more during a mutual hatred of someone?

7. Be flexible when you can

A wise proverb states to be like the will tree, which is flexible and bends with the wind. Since it bends it does not break. Now, it’s not always the easiest to be bend with the wind. And by no means do I mean to compromise your authentic self or principles. But sometimes just that little bit of flexibility allows you to keep moving in the direction you need to go.

8.  Push through any negative energy

Negative energy. Sometimes it’s palpable. Sometimes you second-guess yourself because you aren’t sure if it’s really there. This is where a good advisor can come in and reveal the hidden motives and emotions of any situation. By talking with an advisor you can get good advice to apply to any negative situations that you encounter. Additionally, some good advice I received was that if someone tries to make you self-conscious it means they are trying to hold you back. So, anytime you feel that little bit of  “am I doing this right” or “maybe I’m not good enough” then remember you’re doing better than you think and others may have taken notice and may not be super thrilled about it. 😉

What rules do you live by when working with other confident women?