A younger girl is your superior, how to deal

Inner-Strength Training Tip #5: Be strong enough to work toward a common goal.

The situation:

A girl who is obviously younger then you is your superior. I’m not going to sugarcoat things and say this is totally awesome! In reality, it can be a little bump to your ego. And if this is something you have to adapt to, there might be an adjustment period.


I mean shouldn’t you get something for being older and wiser?


Embarrassed, prideful; annoyance; power struggle; desire for control; competition, undermining; power play; frustrated

View from their perspective……..

Pushy, assertive, domineering. These words can all be used to describe your young superior’s view of management. It depends on how old they are and how much experience they’ve had at this point. But, chances are they are bossing you around like you don’t know a damn thing.

Which isn’t quite true….. You know a lot.

But look, they are young. And this is how they feel.

They push boundaries, they are changemakers.

Meant to shake up old ways of doing things with their fresh perspective.

Your girl wants to be taken seriously as a person! You were her once! Understand her.

She knows she’s young and she’s also still figuring herself out. It may seem like she has all the answers but, really, she is still learning the ropes of life.

It’s not wise for you to compete with her. So, before you get your feathers ruffled. Take a breath. Tearing another down is a step-back for all girl-kind.

View from your perspective…….

You worked VERY hard and you’ve been in the game for YEARS now.

Let’s just say you sharpened your skills, you paid the price, got played a couple times, triumphed, failed, contributed long hours, blood, sweat, tears, the whole nine yards.

By this time, you’ve got it all figured out.

At the very least, you’ve earned the respect of others, right?

So, why is this young chick stepping on your toes and bossing you around like you’re her grandma?

How-to deal

There’s bound to be some power struggles until you both find common ground and your dynamic.

This can take some trial-and-error.

And, I encourage you to experiment what works best for both of you. Don’t be afraid to feel guilt. To feel momentary frustration with the situation.

As long as your goal is to work together toward a common goal. You should never tear-down, resent, or be jealous of another.

Take a temperature reading of yourself. You know how you feel, so don’t ask to mask it. It’s incredibly hard to be honest with yourself. But, if you feel jealous then that is work that you need to do on yourself.

So, if that’s the case, take some time to inch closer to the holy grail of secure-with-oneself. It’s a journey.

What you can do is continue to shine in your own way.

Remember you are two separate individuals with two entirely different sets of gifts.


There are many sides and dimensions to working together and successful completion of a goal. There is no “one best person with every positive skill and no fear at all, one supreme ruler.”

A team of individuals is what makes a company thrive.

No matter how amazing their skillset seems, you contribute to the common goal in your own ways

Whether that is with wisdom, precision, thoroughness, or just experience.


Respect is a profitable common ground. Meaning, you and the person in questions, plus the entire company can thrive when you respect and trust one another.

You should also think back to a time you were disrespected.

How did it feel?

Especially If you were ever in an authority position, you know how unnerving it can be when someone doesn’t follow your orders.

Additionally, if you feel any bone of competitiveness linger or the need to be seen as the one that is more in control then remember that people can always read confidence.

Your job is to be an adult. To be respectful, but to assert yourself if others cross boundaries and try to make an inappropriate power-play.

Whether you think so or not, that younger girl is looking up to you as a role model.

So the best advice here is to always compete with yourself.

There’s nothing that says you have to come second fiddle to her just because she’s been there longer. But there always is an element of respect that you have to be mindful of.

Compete with yourself

Instead of getting involved with who is on top and who is on the bottom in the power play, focus on bettering yourself always. Compete with yourself.

And ultimately operate under the goal of team-building and working together.

Be the steady one.

The one that always does a good job consistently.

Be a strong presence.

Your track record speaks for you. And you don’t have to get caught up in the race if you don’t let yourself.

Question for the older girls out there, how do you feel about younger women superiors? Do you find yourself supporting them?